Posts

A Melody That Sounds Like a Memory

Image
Have you ever been given a gift that you didn’t even know you needed; however upon receiving it you realized it was exactly what you needed?  I was recently given such a gift.  It was a gift that my soul needed.  A gift that some piece deep inside of me needed, and yet I was completely unaware of that need until it was met.  I was given a song and with that song an amazing memory.  Eric Church in his song “Springsteen” says, “It’s funny how a melody sounds like a memory.” Well I was given one of those melodies and I will forever be grateful. Let me start from the beginning and tell the story of this song and memory.  On August 28th 2016 I found out I was expecting Baby Ross #2.  It was a Sunday which is a busy day for a Pastor’s family and not the best time to process news like, “Surprise, life is about to get crazier!”  Over the next few days however the excitement and joy of adding another member to our family began to creep in.  We started dreaming, picking out names we liked and te…

A Beautiful Agony

Image
Two weeks ago today, the most life changing event of my life took place. It's a story I feel I must tell in detail and yet I feel completely inadequate in expressing the depth of pain and beauty in the story.  It's like taking a picture of a sunset.  No camera can capture the incredible beauty in that vibrant sky.  And yet, we all continue to take pictures of the sunset, hoping that just this once we'll be able to capture the glorious sky and be able to take it "with us". I feel the same way about this story.  I hope that as I write and then read and reread the story later, that I can in some way encapsulate the wonder of it all and take that with me for life. 
It all started nine months ago with a positive pregnancy test, followed by eighteen more positive pregnancy tests (to confirm the status of the first).  I was finally convinced that I was indeed pregnant. Isn't it funny how we are so quick to doubt the very things we hope and dream of?

The next three mon…

THE 37 WEEK WAIT

Image
Let me be completely clear...at week 37 of pregnancy, I feel completely DONE with this.  I'm guessing most women do (those who don't, should consider being evaluated by a psychiatrist).  It feels like the last 6.2 miles of a marathon...only much worse.  You're so close, yet so far from the finish line.  The worst part is that the finish line isn't even a known thing...it's just a guess.  It would be equivalent to running a marathon and at mile 26.2, being told that you actually have to keep running, you're not quite there yet. Maybe you've been there, or maybe you're wondering what it feels like.  Let me sum it up in some meme's.  They say it better than I ever could!
First, you're completely exhausted.  Good luck being productive.  Writing To Do Lists is probably a waste of time at this point...unless your wonderful other half is going to take care of that list for you. 
And yet...although you are exhausted, sleep eludes you EVERY NIGHT.  It&#…