Friday, July 11, 2014

THE 37 WEEK WAIT

Let me be completely clear...at week 37 of pregnancy, I feel completely DONE with this.  I'm guessing most women do (those who don't, should consider being evaluated by a psychiatrist).  It feels like the last 6.2 miles of a marathon...only much worse.  You're so close, yet so far from the finish line.  The worst part is that the finish line isn't even a known thing...it's just a guess.  It would be equivalent to running a marathon and at mile 26.2, being told that you actually have to keep running, you're not quite there yet.
ERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

Maybe you've been there, or maybe you're wondering what it feels like.  Let me sum it up in some meme's.  They say it better than I ever could!

First, you're completely exhausted.  Good luck being productive.  Writing To Do Lists is probably a waste of time at this point...unless your wonderful other half is going to take care of that list for you. 

And yet...although you are exhausted, sleep eludes you EVERY NIGHT.  It's probably practice for the night shift you're going have to swing for the next 3-18 years.  

And so you lie awake in bed thinking....

...which doesn't help the sleep problem at all.  So you wake up the next morning feeling like this.

You also start to feel very needy and yet completely irritable at the same time.  You're poor husband is probably in a lose lose situation here.  

Then there are the physical things. You're sinuses become all stuffed up, you're voice changes, thanks to lovely hormones. In general, you're quite sure this isn't your body but only a bad dream. 

And so you put on your husband's oversized t-shirts and basketball shorts in an attempt to hide the discomfort from yourself.

You've been wearing YOGA pants for the past 6 months and now even those feel tight.  You dream of the day when your athletic apparel will once again get to fulfill the roll it was intended too.  Wait though, you'll have to buy all new clothes first though because even spandex has it's limits (which you've long since pushed past). 

Did I mention, you have no idea what your feet look like anymore.  Do you even have feet???

There are days when the whole pregnancy still seems unreal.  Is there really a baby in there? This will mess with your delirious mind and you'll wonder if possibly this bump will turn out to be a litter of puppies or if you just need to work off that burger you ate. 

No matter what that bump is, people will still want to touch it.  If only they'd like to carry it for a stint as well.  You wonder why you never bought this shirt at week 22 when all this baby bump rubbing started...next time...if there is a next time. 

Not only will people touch you're baby bump, they'll comment on whether it is too small, too big or just right.  It's like Goldy Locks and the Three Bears everywhere you go.  Don't let it get to you though because...

You consider journaling about all your pregnancy woes but realize that if anyone every got a hold of it, this is what they would say...

So instead you push it out of your already forgetful mind and go back to napping and dreaming of the day when this precious bundle will say...

Until then you'll do all you can to be ready for that day.  I suggest T-Babying...you know so you're ready to "throw" that baby to your husband to catch.  



Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Keep Your Eyes Peeled


Koda and I taking in our surroundings while we stop for coffee on our morning walk 
A while back I heard a pastor tell the congregation that we often don't truly notice the things around us. We step outside and don't hear the birds chirping or notice the breeze blowing through the tree tops. We rush through life without seeing God's creation and workings all around us. I remember thinking, "Not me, I always hear the birds and notice the sky."

This thought wasn't based on my perception of my perception (see how I did that??? Tricky!) It was based on everyday experience. Every morning Jadon and I take a walk together. No matter how early we have to wake up to make this happen, we make it happen. Before I was pregnant, it was a morning run, but now it's a walk. So every morning I step outside and notice the birds, or lack of birds chirping. Not a morning goes by that I don't notice and mention the beauty of the sky or the stillness of the air or even the size of the moon (since our walks are often before the sun comes up).

Last week my sister came to visit and I was telling her about this realization and she said, "I always notice God's creation around me too." We talked about why this is and why the majority of people probably don't notice these things. We boiled it down to one thing...we were taught to greatly appreciate these things over everything else...let me explain.

I grew up in Wyoming with very non-conventional parents. We didn't go to movies on a Friday evening, we drove through the hills looking for Elk, Antelope, Deer or Wild Horses. I remember bouncing along in the backseat of our old Suburban peering out the window looking for an animal on the horizon. I was barely big enough to see out the window and so I would get up on my knees to get a better view. My Dad would turn around and say, "Peel your eyes kids, this a great place to see Elk (or another animal)." My mom always had an old bird book stashed in the glove box and she would pull it out to identify any bird she was unsure about.

Our family spent vacations camping, not going to Disney world. Laying awake at night and listening to coyotes yip or wolves howl wasn't disconcerting. It something to lie awake and marvel at. In the morning we would discuss how many we thought were in the pack and how far away we thought they were.

Some of my favorite trips were backpacking trips with my Dad. He's always had an uncanny ability to know directions in the wilderness. On one particular trip, He brought a map of the mountain range we were in, not because he needed it but because he wanted us all to learn the names of the mountain peaks around us. We would sit around the camp fire and identify the mountains. To this day I can see those mountains from a distance and still identify some of the peaks.

When we were hiking we were taught to notice the smells around us. Did we smell deer or antelope or elk (you know they all have a unique scent that they leave if they have been in the area). We watched the ground for tracks and then identified what animal the track belonged to.

All of these things are so precious to me and I'm forever grateful to parents who made God's creation the priority, not media or technology or whatever the "new cool" kid's activity or toy was.

As I think about having my own little girl in my arms soon I know I want her to have the same experience I had. I hope I can be just as unconventional and wonderful as my parents were. I know that there will be times that baby girl #1 or any of the other children Jadon and I may have, will complain about this (I know I did); but I also know that it's the eternal things that matter. People matter...do we truly SEE people around us? Creation matters...it's God's handiwork all around us. I believe being perceptive to nature also teaches us to be perceptive to people. It means that we are tapped into our surroundings, whether that be people or nature. Jesus was always fully present and I want to be the same way as well as teach/model that to my children.




Wednesday, July 2, 2014

How To Make Your Pregnancy More Uncomfortable?



I know you've always wondered the ONE thing that books and websites on pregnancy never cover..."How can I be more uncomfortable during pregnancy?" I mean, really...thanks for covering the...
"How To Throw The Best Party For Your Baby Bump"
"10 Things Your Mom Won't Tell You About Pregnancy...But Grandma Will" 
"How To Keep Romance Alive While You Have A Bump That Keeps You An Arms Length Away From         Everyone and Everything, Including Your Shoes" and
"99 Things To Never Say To A Hormonal Pregnant Woman Unless You Want To Be Punched"
...but could ya step outside the box and answer this ONE looming question???

Well, I'm here to step in and fill this much needed answer void!  It's really simply actually.  There's only 1 step.

FALL OUT OF A HAMMOCK HANGING 4 FEET OFF THE GROUND 

It works wonders! You'll instantly be drastically more uncomfortable.  And to make it even better, this discomfort doesn't wear off; it sticks around for a long time...possibly the rest of your pregnancy.

I'll tell you about my recent experience with this trick.  I bought a hammock about a week ago and I'd been waiting for Jadon to hang it up so I could lounge in sun in this comfy, swinging contraption.  Well yesterday Jadon got around to doing just that.  It took a few tries to find the right location but finally he did and I decided to give the hammock a try.  In retrospect, I should have made the dog try it first.  Anyways, not more than 5 minutes into climbing into the hammock, one rope came undone and I pulled a Humpty Dumpty and had a great fall.

I landed on the upper part of my back and instantly saw black spots and had the wind knocked out of me. I've been sarcastic about this entire ordeal but it really did hurt and was incredibly scary.  I was sure I was going to end up like Joanie Erickson Tada and be have to learn how to paint with my mouth.  Being 36 weeks pregnant didn't help with scare. I could barely move or even stand up and since I was long overdue for a trip to the E.R. so we decided this was the time to go.



There is nothing "Emergency" about most of the Emergency Rooms I've been in.  We waited a good hour to even be moved from the waiting room back to a random supply corner that they partitioned off to make a spot for us. At this point I was starting to feel a little better, super sore, but I could at least move.  I had also felt the baby kick a few times which was reassuring.  Since I was past the point of panic I could fully appreciate the ridiculous things that happened at the E.R.

First, there was a man in the waiting area that was sucking down a hot cup of coffee.  Either it was the best coffee in the world or he was the most expressive guy in the world.  He "ahhh'd" after every slurp and then made little kissing noises in between taking drinks.  I couldn't turn my head to see him, but the noises he was making were enough to make a good 8 minutes of waiting totally entertaining.

Then while we were taken back to the makeshift room, the male nurse noticed that I was carrying the neck brace that the reception nurse had given me.  He loudly calls out (as if there is an old woman in some corner sitting at a typewriter taking "minute notes" on the entire workings of the E.R.")
    "SO SHE'S REFUSING THE NECK BRACE."
     I said,
    "No, I didn't refuse it.  I just took it off when it became uncomfortable."
    So he says even louder,
     "SHE'S REFUSING THE NECK BRACE."
     Once again, I reply
     "No, I didn't refuse it; the nurse said I could take it off."
      And then, in case Matilda typing in the corner didn't hear, he yells
      "SHE'S REFUSING THE NECK BRACE!"
At this point I just gave up.  Clearly my responses were going nowhere. Apparently I was now liable for my own neck..as if I wasn't already.



The next ridiculous thing was the Doppler they decided to use to try and listen to the baby.  It was a about the size of a razor.  The nurse goopped my entire stomach up and then rolled that little thing ALL OVER trying to find a heartbeat without any success.  She turned the volume up till we were all "static'ed out" and then turned it back down.  After trying this for quite awhile she said,
   "These dopplers aren't very good", and decided to try a larger one which was sitting RIGHT THERE. Why she didn't start with the larger Doppler, I will never know.  Anyways, we heard the baby's heartbeat almost immediately which was a relief.

Ok...it gets even better.  While I'm laying there waiting for the doctor to see me, one of the doctors pops his head around the corner of my partion and says,
    "How's that breathing treatment I gave you working?"  Hmmmmm...breathing treatment? For me?
    I said,
    "Well, if I had one I'm sure it would have worked wonders."
That's when he realized I was the wrong patient and excused himself.  Hahahaha!!!! Jadon and I busted up laughing after he walked off.

So....long story short, the doctor finally saw me and felt around on my spine to confirm that nothing was broken.  He suggested an X Ray to confirm no fractures but since you're not supposed to get X Rays when pregnant, I declined.  Three hours later we left knowing that the baby was OK most importantly, and also that I didn't have any broken bones.

Since then, I've been very uncomfortable...so as you can see this method REALLY DOES WORK!


My "Emergency Room Pose"
Notice my sweet outfit.  Somehow I didn't have time to put on a respectable outfit before my fall. Crazy, I know!